Tools for Empaths
Have you ever had someone tell you a story about an injury
they received, and you could literally feel the pain or uneasiness in the area
of the body that they were describing? If so, you may be very empathetic and
possibly empthic. Empathy is a good thing. It helps us to relate to those
around us, to be able to put ourselves in their shoes, and to be able to think
through how our words or actions might impact others. Empathy also allows us to
see where other people’s wounds or struggles are so that we can be mindful and
choose to react from a place of love and compassion instead of frustration or
anger.
Growing up, I do not think I realized how sensitive I was to
those around me. As a child, I loved animals, felt a very strong connection to
them, and could often understand them and their needs better than the adults
around me could. I definitely needed my alone time. I loved to be immersed in
books or out in nature. As a teenager, I often had severe mood swings and
frequently felt completely overwhelmed by emotions. I would cringe, feel pain,
or feel severe uneasiness when people would tell me stories about injuries or
pain.
More recently, following a number of incidents (my former
fiancé returning from Afghanistan and saying that he did not know how to make
things work; the deaths of my step-grandfather, grandfather, step-father; and
the suicide of my step-brother; and etc.) within the span of about two-and-a-half
years, I spent some long, hard time starring deep into my shadow and facing
what I found there. After looking at my fears, insecurities, and wounds and
healing them, life for me is very happy and fulfilling. I have a much better
sense of self and further developed the inner strength and source of happiness
that allows me to far more easily ride the waves of life and keep things in
perspective.
Having done that work, whenever I start feeling anxiety,
tension, stress, fear, frustration, anger, and etc., it is much easier for me
to be able to take a step back, evaluate whether I have any reason to be
feeling that sensation or emotion, and then determine whether the feeling is
mine or belongs to someone else. As I said, because life is pretty awesome
these days, I can more easily sort out what is coming from other people…what I
have absorbed from my environment and the hustle and bustle around me.
Prior to being able to make that distinction, there were
several times where I felt ill or overwhelmed, and I could not figure out what
was wrong with me. These instances typically seemed to occur when I was on
trips to go to conferences or when I was visiting organizations on college
campuses for an extended period of time (more than a 4 h visit). After a day or
two, I would start to feel exhausted, I would feel nauseated or ill, and I
would have the urge to find silence and to be alone to unwind (which is not
always easy if you have a roommate on a trip).
There was even one instance where I was in a session, and I
began to feel emotionally overwhelmed and started crying uncontrollably. Even
more recently, I was on a trip with a bunch of college friends. We had gone to
a baseball game, and afterwards we were out at a club. All of a sudden, I began
to feel extremely ill, almost like I was spinning or very drunk, although I had
not had much to drink. One of my friends noticed that I was feeling
overstimulated and that I would get nauseated anytime anyone came near me. She
helped me find a seat in the corner and put some chairs in the way so it was
more difficult for people to get very close to me. Finally, after several
minutes in my own space, I began to feel better.
As I am able to more clearly see the times where I have
soaked up the emotions of other people like a sponge, and I am more in touch
with when this happens now, it is easier for me to have tools to better deal
with these situations:
- Facing my shadow – after I made friends with and loved and accepted my shadow, it is far easier for me to tell which energy and emotions are mine and which are not. I know I and my life are happy and that I have so much to be grateful for in my world, and that helps to put everything else into perspective.
- Being mindful and breathing – when I start feeling overwhelmed, I can collect myself, focus on my breath, and breathe through whatever feelings or emotions are coming my way.
- Practicing meditation – if I want to take the mindfulness and breathing to the next level, then I practice meditation when I am feeling overwhelmed by emotions or overly empathic. I often use visualizations during my meditations to help me heal or release whatever it is that is not serving me (including energy and emotions I have picked up because I am an empath). I have several YouTube videos on my Kathryn Palacio channel with examples, and I will make more.
- Using sea salt/Himalayan salt to cleanse – in addition to soap, I will wash my hands with salt, take a shower with salt, or take a bath with salt if I am feeling overwhelmed, overly empathic, ungrounded, or out of sorts. I ask that the salt and the water remove any negative emotions or energy from me and that it be washed down the drain and transformed into love and returned to the Earth.
- Using sage to cleanse – similar to cleansing with salt, smudging with sage can help to let go of/clear any energy or emotions that are not mine. I ask that the smoke of the burning sage remove any negative emotions or energy from me and that it be transformed into love and returned to the Universe (whatever your word is for God or Source).
- Getting out into nature – I go for a hike in a nature reserve, go for a walk, or go to a park to get distance from electronics and other people. This allows me to get back in touch with myself and with the natural rhythms of life. I often will sit with my bare feet on the ground.
- Using a grounding mat – I own a grounding mat, and when I am feeling overwhelmed or overly empathic, I will spend time with my feet, hands, or legs in contact with the grounding mat to help me get back in sync with the natural rhythms of life. This is particularly useful during the winter when it's too cold to be out in nature with my bare feet on the ground.
- Journaling – getting everything out of my head and onto paper helps me to feel more grounded and centered. I am also better able to deal with and find the root of whatever it is that is bothering me when I get it onto paper. This reminds me of the Ana Nalick song Breathe, where she says, "...if I get it all down on paper, it's no longer indie of me, threatening the life it belongs to..." There is something truly cathartic about getting things out of my head and onto paper.
- Using crystals – I personally LOVE crystals. As a kid, I was always walking around with rocks in my pockets. These days, I make use of crystals to help me feel grounded and centered and to help me absorb less of other people’s energy and emotions. Black tourmaline, sunstone, citrine, hematite, pyrite, and pink kunzite are a few of my favorite tools to help with being empathic. I will probably create and share a YouTube video on my Kathryn Palacio channel soon to talk about them.
- Using sound – when I am feeling tense, stressed, or feel like I've absorbed energy or emotions from others, I have some Tibetan tingsha bells that I will ring in my space and around me. The should helps to clear away the lower energy. Tibetan singing bowls and other forms of sound can also be used and are particularly healing. I also listen to 528 Hz music, which is known as the frequency of love or Solfeggio frequency.
- Loving myself and whatever emotions come my way – when I love and accept myself completely, it is much easier to deal with feelings of being overwhelmed or empathic. Love helps me put things into perspective. When I approach myself with love, I can approach everything else that comes my way with love, as well. This comes full circle with facing my shadow...because I love myself and my life, I know I am in a good pace, and I can identify when emotions and energies are not mine.
- Setting an intention – as seen in many of the previous points, the most important step is to set an intention with any tool that I choose to use to help me let go of negative emotions, negative thought patterns, negative energy, or any emotions, thoughts, energy that is not mine, etc.
As always, please take what speaks to you and leave the rest.
Many blessings!!!
Facebook: www.facebook.com/kathrynpalacio1111
Instagram: lovingmysoul1111
YouTube: Kathryn Palacio
Website: www.lovingmysoul.com
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