Happiness - Figuring Out Our Own Recipes - Part 2


Inspired by my YouTube video Happiness - Figuring Out Our Own Recipes, in Part 1 of Happiness - Figuring Out Our Own Recipes, I discussed how the topic of happiness came up at a dinner one night, how many of those in attendance were surprised when I said that I'm 98% happy most of the time, that people assume that I have had a super easy life if I am indeed so happy, and I shared some of the examples that I gave the other dinner goers regarding happiness. In Part 2, I want to continue the discussion of how we can cultivate happiness in our own lives.



During the dinner where we were discussing happiness, as well as in a conversation with self-development facilitator Andrew I mentioned in Part 1, I described how I've had struggles in my life and used to be a really sarcastic/wounded person. However, for the past few years, instead of turning to sarcasm, I seek very meaningful, open, and honest conversations with people. Connecting deeply with others is very fulfilling for me. Sarcasm no longer calls to me because it feels like a way to poke fun at things, to keep people at a distance, or to be self-deprecating. Sarcasm doesn't really have a place in my life anymore, but I wasn't always like this. Over the past several years, in addition to sarcasm, many other behaviors and habits have also fallen away.

A few years ago, I had beautiful Isabella Greene suggest that I find pictures of myself as a very young child (1-3 years old) and connect with that version of me because some of who I am who had gotten repressed. She also recommended the book Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz, in which he describes how we are the very pure souls who initially came into this world until about the age of 3-4, at which point we then begin to take on the emotional poison (programming) of those around us. At the time when I was speaking with Isabella, I had already done a lot of inner work. I believe I had already taken Reiki 1 and 2 and Pranic Healing® Level 1. During my sessions with her, she had even described "how clean" I was and how she could tell that I had "really been doing the work".

Still, as an ever evolving being, and one who is always pushing the envelope to be the best version of myself, I wanted to learn to deal certain things in my life in better ways. I had more layers to peel back of the mental/emotional/behavioral programming that had gotten me to that point in my life where things weren't working well. I had to learn to remove the emotional poison that Don Miguel Ruiz mentions. I had to reconnect with the bright and beautiful version of me when I was a young child (my template). I needed to shake off my seriousness and allow my inner child/playfulness to shine through.

A beautiful rose blessing it's surroundings with it's beautiful
color at a country house near Assisi, Italy, where Kathryn
attended a meditation retreat.

So I requested that my mother and my sister to send me pictures of me when I was a toddler. One morning, my sister sent me a picture of when I was young (somewhere between 2-4), and I had the biggest grin on my face. When I saw the picture, I thought, I want to live every single day of my life as excited as that. Every time I look at that photo, I smile, and I think the same thing.

Having walked a long way on my own personal happiness journey, I wanted to share some perspectives on happiness, because it ties into everything I've been talking about on my Kathryn Palacio YouTube channel, my Loving My Soul blog, and my Kathryn Palacio - Loving My Soul FaceBook page. I often use the metaphor of if we look at our lives as science experiments, we can start experimenting with the different variables to figure out what makes us happy.

Some of those variables include the activities we do, the people we're around, how we talk to ourselves, the music we listen to, what we watch on TV, what we eat. How do these activities make us feel? Do they make us feel alive? Do they make us feel sluggish? Do they make us feel drained? Do they make us feel invigorated and refreshed? Part of the experiment is to change one thing at a time, notice the impact, decide if we want to keep the change, and then to continue on optimizing our lives while focusing on ever increasing health, happiness, abundance, and fun.

With each facet of our lives, we can choose to be curious and to play with the different variables to achieve a state in which we are happy by examining the impact that facet has on us. We can approach ourselves and our lives with love and choose options that are best for us and in our highest good. We can lovingly weigh instant gratification vs. long term rewards (health, happiness, etc.). In general, an example would be mindfully examining the difference in how we feel and the subsequent health effects of eating junk food vs. salad.



I talk about how I live in my own personal bubble of everything is awesome, and it actually did take work to get there. Happiness and satisfaction didn't happen over night. I didn't just wake up always being super happy with everything in my life being sunshine and rainbows. I did a lot of healing and self-soothing/coaching to get me to this point.

I started really experimenting with what I was doing and how it was making me feel, and then adjusting all of the variables in the equation to make me super happy. Sometimes one of the variables might include letting go of fake friends or unhealthy relationships and instead cultivating fulfilling, healthy relationships. Some of those variables included me taking supplements and vitamins, using essential oils, using flower essences, self-care, and eating well. I'm vegan (plant based diet), and I eat lots of legumes, hemp seed, veggies, fruit, nuts...occasionally tofu...lots of good stuff. I mentioned some variables earlier, like what we listen to or watch . Sometimes may also include variables like going to a therapist or a life coach if and when needed or learning new stress-reduction techniques.

Being able to put together our toolbox of tools and referring back to it is super helpful. Sometimes I forget that I have some of the tools that I've learned over the years, and when I rediscover it, I think, "Oh yeah! Awesome!" An example would be Ho'Oponopono, the Hawaiian healing technique that says, "I"m sorry, please forgive me. Thank you. I love you". I sometimes forget that I have it in my tool box, so I dusted it off and started it using it again. I even use Ho'Oponopono playfully in an elevator when people seem grumpy, and often times they're super nice to me when the step out of the elevator.

Happiness is really a state of mind. No one can give us the perfect recipe of what happiness is or how to get it. Happiness is something that we have to find and create for ourselves. Sometimes people try to steal other people's happiness, but that's really not possible, because what makes me happy is not going to make you happy. We're all different. We might have some things that overlap, but overall, each one of us is the alchemist in our own life who has to figure out our own special recipe, own own personal alchemy. Each one of us is the scientist. Each one of us is the artist. Whatever term you want to use.

A fountain with a 900 year old olive tree behind it at a country house near Assisi, Italy,
where Kathryn stayed during a meditation retreat. Each flower adds it's own beauty,
exactly the way that we add our own colors to the canvas of our happiness. 

We have the opportunity to figure out the perfect combination...Whether it's the blending of the colors of the artist, adjusting the variables of a mathematical equation or the hypotheses of the scientist, or the transmutation of the alchemist. Each one of us has the ability to figure out exactly what we need. Being curious and excited about the opportunities to explore different tools, try on new hats, put our own twist on something, and figure out who we are...all of this helps us peel back the layers of the onion of who we are and figure out what really truly makes us excited on the inside. What makes us happy, effervescent, excited, and in the flow? What allows us to see the magick in the world and to be in alignment with our higher selves?

I am going to continue to share the different things that I am doing and the different tools that I use. I am here to be the alchemist to remind others that they are also alchemists. We are all alchemists, and we can all find our personal recipes for happiness.


As always, take what speaks to you and leave the rest.

Many blessings!

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